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Considering the recent claims from the fundamentalist Christians over at Family Radio that the world is going to end - and the Rapture will occur - this coming weekend (May 21, 2011), I thought I'd take a look at how the world would be different if all the Christians were, in fact, Raptured.

While those who claim that the end is nigh will argue that anybody left behind is in for a world of misery, I thought I would lighten the load by offering the following Top 10 reasons why the Earth might be a better place after the Rapture:

10: Celebrities and athletes can finally start thanking real people and acknowledge their own hard work and dedication when they win awards or championships, instead of always giving us the same falsely humble speech thanking God and Jesus for blessing them with talent.

9: Hotels can start putting books other than the Holy Bible in their nightstand drawers. So people who travel might get to read some interesting new novels, magazines, biographies, or whatever else hotels decide to put in the rooms instead.

8: Network television can start showing nudity.

7: Stores, banks, doctor’s offices, and the post office might actually start being open on Sundays.

6: Fewer broken homes. Since divorce rates amongst atheists and agnostics are lower than those of any religious group(1.), any children born after the rapture will be more likely to enjoy a more stable nuclear family.

Percentage of religious followers

5: If only self-reporting Christians are raptured, then roughly 33% of the world’s population (2.) would be removed, greatly reducing the problems posed by planetary overpopulation. If members of other religions get raptured too (like Jews, Muslims, or Hindus) that percentage could shoots up as high as 85%(2.)! Which would effectively solve the population crisis, without having to resort to excessive birth control measures or euthanasia/genocide/eugenics. More food, fresh water, chocolate, tequilla, and oil for everybody! Not to mention that property prices would probably plummet with so little demand.

4: Crime rates, unintended pregnancy (and abortion) rates, and STD infection rates would go down. Since studies have shown that dysfunction and crime rates among atheists are lower than those of religious groups(3.), those who get "left behind" will likely enjoy much lower rates of crime and dysfunction.

3: No more Jehova’s witnesses, Mormon missionaries, or Jews for Jesus knocking on my door at 9 am on a Saturday morning asking if I’ve found Jesus or if something is missing from my life. Yes, now that you mention it, something was missing: the extra sleep I was supposed to be getting on my day off!

2: With the most conservative, uptight, gullible, fundamentalist, and fear-mongering segments of the population removed from power and influence, only the most rational and level-headed people will be left to run the world and solve its problems.

And the number one reason the world might be a better place after the Rapture:

1: People can finally stop worrying about the “end of days”. Because it already happened.

There is still that Apophis asteroid though...

Sources:

  1. Divorce rates of religious groups, from www.religioustolerance.org
  2. U.S. Center for World Mission, through www.religioustolerance.org
  3. "Societies worse off 'when they have God on their side'", from The Times Online

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